Love, Standards and a Lesson on Consideration

I'm independent.
It's my thing.
Just ask any friend of mine,
or even someone who's known me for a day.
I like to do my own thing
and I don't need a boy around to be happy.
In fact,
I'm happier without one
because usually,
there's lots around.
No no no wait.
I'm not being arrogant.
Any single person knows this,
flirting is fun.
BUT
I think something which separates me from many,
is that I don't go farther than flirting.
I don't need to.
Having this ability to just flirt is like the best secret weapon of all.
Well,
I suppose it's not a secret anymore.
But hey,
if you're single,
you know this...
Or you should know this little thing I'm about to tell you..
Always leave them wanting more.
If someone can get everything from you that they could get from a bf/gf
and you're not their bf/gf
then you're probably not gonna be.
Why would you?
Why would they make you into their one and only if they already get everything they need from you?
Physically and emotionally.
Don't be so eager.
Hang back a little bit.
If they call you and you always pick up immediately,
maybe next time
don't.
If you text them every minute every day
and they only sometimes text you back,
maybe next time
you shouldn't.
Don't be there for someone who won't be there for you.
You know one of the most important traits in a relationship?
Consideration.
Not being taken for granted.
So you're always waiting on their call to tell you they're available to hang out?
Please.
You're already busy.
You don't need to wait around for someone else.
Now,
this advice is all sound and such,
but make sure they know how you're feeling.
Make sure they're aware that you feel like you give more than you get.
Successful relationships should be 50/50
not 75/25.
Don't put up for someone who doesn't respect you and value your time.
You're an awesome person,
if the one you're with doesn't realize it,
then it's their loss.
Sorry,
you just moved on.
Keep your head and your standards up line.
Got your back.
Happy to help,
Bee.

Love Shouldn't Hurt Like That.

It takes a lot to love a person.
It's inconvenient,
and painful.
No matter what.
BUT...
Turns out
it's usually worth it
because while that love gets in your way and sometimes hurts,
it still makes your day when
you know that they're thinking about you
and can't wait to see you later
and you can tell them all about your day...
However,
what happens when someone you love
starts hurting you too much?
When the person you adore
and thought adored you
no longer shares their day with you,
or calls just to say they love you,
or leaves a bruise...
It's really hard to admit it sometimes
when a relationship that used to be amazing
has lost its love.
When someone physically hurts you,
it's not love.
They didn't just"lose their cool".
They say they'll never ever do it again.
False.
You have the new bruise to prove it.
And even if it did only happen once,
statistics show that won't be the only time,
and why would you want to risk that?
Why risk your heart
and your body
and your spirit
to that kind of abuse?
You are so much better.
You're worth all the love in the world
and you should try to find it,
far away from a person who hurts you.
Because you won't find it there.
They don't love you.
And you don't need them.
Many will love you
and will never do anything
but try to make you smile.
That's where you want to be.
With that person.
It's not impossible to find them.
It only takes time.
Don't stay with an abuser.
Love yourself.
You're incredible.
You're strong.
You are in control of your own life.
Find support and love
and use your strength.
You're worth it
and everyone who loves you
thinks so too.
Always here for you.
Love,
Bee.

Confusion Answered.

Okay.
I know I've been completely infrequent with my posts,
and I apologize for that.
BUT
The reason for this is because
I've been out there learning and making mistakes,
in order to give you the feedback you like :]
I'm about to pour my heart out on this one,
so stay with me.
I'm no longer confused about how to act or react.
I have a solid answer.
Which is exactly what I wanted...
Now, was the substance of the answer I got
exactly what I wanted?
Well,
at first I didn't think it was.
At first,
I was kinda upset about it.
Upset that he didn't like me enough to become something more.
BUT
after thinking about it,
that what I always want.
I have never been the girl who wanted a boyfriend,
I've never wanted to be stuck with one person,
so why did I confuse myself this time?
Well,
to be honest
it's probably because I genuinely liked him.
But that's beyond the point.
I think the reason I was prepared to commit so quickly
was because all of my friends told me I was supposed to.
No really,
anyone that knows me,
knows I'm not the relationship girl.
I'm a flirt.
I like to have fun.
Commitment scares me.
I lost track of who I was for a few weeks.
There's the key words there:
"few weeks."
I had only known this guy for like 20 days.
That is an outrageous amount of time for me to:
meet boy.
fall for boy.
date boy.
want to COMMIT to boy.
20 days!
Wow. wow. wow.
That is just not like me at all.
And now I remember that.
Yeah,
it still hurts a little to know I won't see him again,
but most likely it's for the best.
Maybe in a few years
we'll both be the single ones in our groups of friends
and we'll meet again.
Maybe we'll be more grown up
and ready for relationships.
Maybe I'll never see him again...
But one thing is for sure,
I learned from it
and it was fun while it lasted,
because we were a pretty good match.
Keep your smile and your guard up line,
both will get you where you want to be.
Happy to help.
Bee <3

New Situations, New Reactions.

You know what really blows?
Being unsure.
It's definitely in my top 5 least favorite things...
oh yeah...
it's right up there with snakes and ignorant people.
And why is being unsure SOOO frustrating?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PREDICT ANYTHING.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm the only person who mentally shrinks everyone I meet,
and during that time of analyzing is where I determine
how to behave around said person.
Extrovert? Introvert. Arrogant? Humble.
It's all about give and take...
but it's REALLY hard to have that "give and take" situation flow smoothly when you don't know what the other person is thinking.
This is the first time in my life I've run into this problem.
I'm usually very good at reading people.
It's one of my best qualities...
or it WAS.
Recently I've met someone who is absolutely impossible to read.
No wait.
That's not true.
I can read them,
but I'm still entirely unsure of how to act around them because
What
if
I'm
WRONG?
Why now?
Why this sudden confusion?
Well I couldn't really tell you.
I think it has something to do with the fact that I may like them.
Him.
Well shoot.
This is inconvenient.
Soon as I find a solution to this "unsure issue"
I'll let you know.
So far, all I've got it this:
Don't over analyze the situation.
Stop trying to read them in order to react, and be yourself...
because if you're not yourself
they'll either like you for the wrong reasons,
or dislike you for the wrong reasons.
No matter what, nothing is ever permanent.
If you say something stupid to a person you're interested in,
or if you separate,
don't stress.
Be patient.
No action can't be changed in some way.
Don't over analyze. (Yes, I know)
Take every situation as it comes and don't worry about the next step.
Live now.
Not later.
If they don't like you it's their loss.
You're fantastic.
And only the person who recognizes that
deserves you.
Well Line,
good luck.
I need it too.
I'm in uncharted territory right now.
I kinda like it.
Stay tuned.
Happy to help,
Bee.

Two Candy Canes Make a Heart

Oh,
hey there holiday season.
I see you're back again...
Weird how that happens.
Also weird how the holidays are always much nicer
when you have someone you love to share them with.
Yeah,
that's nice.
But I dunno,
isn't having a significant other for the holidays a little overrated?
At LEAST a little cliche...
Right?
Totally...
Who needs a boyfriend/girlfriend when there's mistletoe?
God's own invention to promote kissing various people!
Right?
Yeah...
Being in a relationship during the holidays is ACTUALLY a total disadvantage...
1)You have to buy someone else a present,
which will cause you a lot more grief than just getting a hat for your dad
and jewelry for your mom.
2)You have to make time for someone else,
when you've already got your own schedule to take care of.
3)You're gonna have to hang out with their family,
most likely..
4)What happens when you get into a terrible fight,
two days before Christmas,
and it doesn't get resolved?
Who's Christmas is ruined then?
Yours.
DOWNER.
So maybe you'll have someone to hold hands with,
or to make a snowman,
or to go out,
or laugh with,
or kiss,
or hug.
Oh...
Those things might be nice...
Whoa...
What?
What's happening to me Line?
Is there some possibility in the universe that I'm ACTUALLY prepared to commit to someone?
WHAAATT??
Me??
You're faithfully single Bachelorette?
Nah...
I'm only prepared to commit if the right guy comes along...

Apologies 101

Alright...
So never be a doormat,
that's obvious...
That being said,
don't be a jerk.
Turns out,
sometimes we are jerks.
And we know it.
You know it.
Yeah you do.
Either you get really stressed and snap,
or you're just REALLY REALLY sick of someone.
It just happens.
You yell at them,
or say something so horribly harsh because they aren't grasping that you just want to be left alone.
And then you see it.
The ABSOLUTE hurt that you've caused them.
That was you.
All you.
So it makes sense that the only person who can make it better,
is you.
This is tricky because in some situations with some people,
you need to just let it be for a little while,
then apologize.
Others want an immediate apology.
The problem with an immediate apology is that
A) it's probably not sincere because you're most likely still feeling anger.
B) If you're still angry from the original argument, it's only going to keep bothering you.
However,
if you wait too long,
they may just forget you,
cut you out,
and no longer give a shit about what you have to say.
Pride does bad things for relationships.
So if you did something wrong,
or said something harsh,
give it a day.
Go calm down and brush it off.
Then realize you have to own up to what may have just been your own stress level overflowing,
and they were the unfortunate target.
(They were most likely the target because you feel comfortable enough around them to lose your composure, and know they'll still love/care about you)
So take it easy and step back.
Let the situation die down,
but know you gotta apologize.
And also know that you have to mean your apology.
Everyone can recognize a fake one.
Good luck line.
Keep it in perspective and watch yo temper;)
Happy to help,
Bee.

Love somebody. Or yourself.

I apologize for my absence.
School and work take most of my time...
so does living.
BUT
the good thing about that,
is that now I have plenty to say:]
Let's see.
I think we should talk about dating...
No objections?
Okay good [haha you can't object even if you want to]
Dating is fun.
No really,
hear me out.
A lot of people hate it because it's awkward
and new
and such,
but really,
it's just meeting new people
with the potential of finding love!
Isn't that exciting!?
I know you think that's exciting.
So single is okay.
Yeah?
Yeah!!
You can flirt with whoever you want,
go wherever you want,
no restrictions.
This is your ticket to freedom and happiness!
And through that you'll find MORE happiness when you meet your love!
But it takes time,
we know this.
And being okay with being you is most important. [again, we know this]
Another thing,
yes,
you will date losers.
There's a lot of them out there,
and that's why we date,
to find the best non-loser available.
So don't get discouraged.
Until then,
date around.
Enjoy it.
You only get to do it for so long.
Marriage is forever [or should be thought as such]
so have fun not being married,
and don't forget to love yourself.
Remember,
if you can't love yourself,
how will anyone else?
Right?
;)
Keep in it in perspective line.
Got your back.
<3 Bee.