How To Ditch A Creeper

Hey Line,
how's your life?
Doin' well?
Yeah?
Sweet.
Havin' a good summer?
Good.
Soooo today we're gonna talk about parties,
and phone numbers,
and how to NOT give yours to someone.
Also how to get that weird kid to leave you alone.
Yeah,
you know the guy/girl.
They're either:
A) The big creeper trying to grind on you,
in ways that are so inappropriate you grandmother would have a heart attack upon seeing such.
B) The sloppy drunk who thinks they're SUUUUPPPPERRRRR cute,
and who, the next morning, will tell all his/her friends "OMG I was just soooooo wasted last night" *giggle.
C) Some poor guy/girl who is actually nice enough but you're really not interested
and honestly,
you're just out of their league.
Yeah I said it,
and usually this person is the hardest to deny because you might feel like a jerk doing so,
because they're a decent person,
maybe even nice,
but sometimes decent or nice doesn't cut it.
SO here are my top five favorite strategies for getting rid of A, B and C.

1) Tell them you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
2) Fake an injury and run away.
3) Stare at them without moving until they walk/run away. (You really have to commit to this one. It could take hours depending on their creep level)
4) Tell them you're allergic to them and start sneezing profusely.
Excuse yourself to find a tissue.
5) Text your friend and have them save you.

For strategy #5, it helps to have a code.
Prior to going out,
tell your friends that if you text them "X"
they need to either call you crying in need of your full undivided attention,
which will give you the excuse to leave. (You're only being a good friend)
or if they're there with you,
a code word.
Something that isn't an obvious cry for "dear God get me away from this freak"
but that gets the point across
and that won't be said accidentally.
I like to use song reference.
"Oh yeah (to creepy dude) that's funny, my bestie and I (nudge friend) just love the song "HELP" (emphasize it. Go on) by the Beatles. Great song..."
This is his/her que to pull you both away.

So Line,
there you have it.
How to ditch a creeper (Or a normal person who's just trying too hard) at a party.
Use them wisely.
Try not to hurt anyone's feelings without justification.
Keep it real and party safe :)
Got your back,
Bee.