New Situations, New Reactions.

You know what really blows?
Being unsure.
It's definitely in my top 5 least favorite things...
oh yeah...
it's right up there with snakes and ignorant people.
And why is being unsure SOOO frustrating?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PREDICT ANYTHING.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm the only person who mentally shrinks everyone I meet,
and during that time of analyzing is where I determine
how to behave around said person.
Extrovert? Introvert. Arrogant? Humble.
It's all about give and take...
but it's REALLY hard to have that "give and take" situation flow smoothly when you don't know what the other person is thinking.
This is the first time in my life I've run into this problem.
I'm usually very good at reading people.
It's one of my best qualities...
or it WAS.
Recently I've met someone who is absolutely impossible to read.
No wait.
That's not true.
I can read them,
but I'm still entirely unsure of how to act around them because
What
if
I'm
WRONG?
Why now?
Why this sudden confusion?
Well I couldn't really tell you.
I think it has something to do with the fact that I may like them.
Him.
Well shoot.
This is inconvenient.
Soon as I find a solution to this "unsure issue"
I'll let you know.
So far, all I've got it this:
Don't over analyze the situation.
Stop trying to read them in order to react, and be yourself...
because if you're not yourself
they'll either like you for the wrong reasons,
or dislike you for the wrong reasons.
No matter what, nothing is ever permanent.
If you say something stupid to a person you're interested in,
or if you separate,
don't stress.
Be patient.
No action can't be changed in some way.
Don't over analyze. (Yes, I know)
Take every situation as it comes and don't worry about the next step.
Live now.
Not later.
If they don't like you it's their loss.
You're fantastic.
And only the person who recognizes that
deserves you.
Well Line,
good luck.
I need it too.
I'm in uncharted territory right now.
I kinda like it.
Stay tuned.
Happy to help,
Bee.

Two Candy Canes Make a Heart

Oh,
hey there holiday season.
I see you're back again...
Weird how that happens.
Also weird how the holidays are always much nicer
when you have someone you love to share them with.
Yeah,
that's nice.
But I dunno,
isn't having a significant other for the holidays a little overrated?
At LEAST a little cliche...
Right?
Totally...
Who needs a boyfriend/girlfriend when there's mistletoe?
God's own invention to promote kissing various people!
Right?
Yeah...
Being in a relationship during the holidays is ACTUALLY a total disadvantage...
1)You have to buy someone else a present,
which will cause you a lot more grief than just getting a hat for your dad
and jewelry for your mom.
2)You have to make time for someone else,
when you've already got your own schedule to take care of.
3)You're gonna have to hang out with their family,
most likely..
4)What happens when you get into a terrible fight,
two days before Christmas,
and it doesn't get resolved?
Who's Christmas is ruined then?
Yours.
DOWNER.
So maybe you'll have someone to hold hands with,
or to make a snowman,
or to go out,
or laugh with,
or kiss,
or hug.
Oh...
Those things might be nice...
Whoa...
What?
What's happening to me Line?
Is there some possibility in the universe that I'm ACTUALLY prepared to commit to someone?
WHAAATT??
Me??
You're faithfully single Bachelorette?
Nah...
I'm only prepared to commit if the right guy comes along...

Apologies 101

Alright...
So never be a doormat,
that's obvious...
That being said,
don't be a jerk.
Turns out,
sometimes we are jerks.
And we know it.
You know it.
Yeah you do.
Either you get really stressed and snap,
or you're just REALLY REALLY sick of someone.
It just happens.
You yell at them,
or say something so horribly harsh because they aren't grasping that you just want to be left alone.
And then you see it.
The ABSOLUTE hurt that you've caused them.
That was you.
All you.
So it makes sense that the only person who can make it better,
is you.
This is tricky because in some situations with some people,
you need to just let it be for a little while,
then apologize.
Others want an immediate apology.
The problem with an immediate apology is that
A) it's probably not sincere because you're most likely still feeling anger.
B) If you're still angry from the original argument, it's only going to keep bothering you.
However,
if you wait too long,
they may just forget you,
cut you out,
and no longer give a shit about what you have to say.
Pride does bad things for relationships.
So if you did something wrong,
or said something harsh,
give it a day.
Go calm down and brush it off.
Then realize you have to own up to what may have just been your own stress level overflowing,
and they were the unfortunate target.
(They were most likely the target because you feel comfortable enough around them to lose your composure, and know they'll still love/care about you)
So take it easy and step back.
Let the situation die down,
but know you gotta apologize.
And also know that you have to mean your apology.
Everyone can recognize a fake one.
Good luck line.
Keep it in perspective and watch yo temper;)
Happy to help,
Bee.

Love somebody. Or yourself.

I apologize for my absence.
School and work take most of my time...
so does living.
BUT
the good thing about that,
is that now I have plenty to say:]
Let's see.
I think we should talk about dating...
No objections?
Okay good [haha you can't object even if you want to]
Dating is fun.
No really,
hear me out.
A lot of people hate it because it's awkward
and new
and such,
but really,
it's just meeting new people
with the potential of finding love!
Isn't that exciting!?
I know you think that's exciting.
So single is okay.
Yeah?
Yeah!!
You can flirt with whoever you want,
go wherever you want,
no restrictions.
This is your ticket to freedom and happiness!
And through that you'll find MORE happiness when you meet your love!
But it takes time,
we know this.
And being okay with being you is most important. [again, we know this]
Another thing,
yes,
you will date losers.
There's a lot of them out there,
and that's why we date,
to find the best non-loser available.
So don't get discouraged.
Until then,
date around.
Enjoy it.
You only get to do it for so long.
Marriage is forever [or should be thought as such]
so have fun not being married,
and don't forget to love yourself.
Remember,
if you can't love yourself,
how will anyone else?
Right?
;)
Keep in it in perspective line.
Got your back.
<3 Bee.

He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not.

Well.

Well, well, well.

I've got quite a bit to say,

but for once I'm not quite sure where to start.

So i'll get straight to the point.

BOYS: If you like a girl,

and want her to be your girlfriend eventually,

you better let her know you like her.

And you better show it.

GIRLS: If you like a boy and want to be his girlfriend,

YOU better act like it, but be a little more reserved until you're positive he feels the same way.

Don't doodle your names in hearts on your notebook.

He'll pull the crazy card on you then.

Do these statements seem unfair and sexist?

Yep.

But am I right?

Yep.

Dudes don't want a crazy who they don't have to fight a little for.

Girls don't like passive jerks, OR overly clingy guys.

That's just life,

minus the exceptions.

So today,

BOYS if you like her,

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS BEFORE SHE MOVES ON.

Yes, I am talking to you.

and GIRLS if you like him,

don't stress.

If the feeling is mutual he will make it happen.

That's all.

Get to gettin'.

Love you all.

Bee.

For This Week.

Hey Line,
this will be super short.
I just wanted to remind you to look on the bright side of things this week.
And always,
but really try and focus on that this week.
See how much of a difference it will make:]

Hang in there.
Happy to help.
Bee

One Night Stands.

98 percent of the time that's all they are.
ONE.
NIGHT.
Ouch.
That hurts a lot doesn't it?
I know, it does.
Especially when you're the one hoping that maybe this means they like you as much as you like them.
They don't.
Especially if there's alcohol involved.
If they can't make a move when they're sober,
it's because they don't want the responsibility of actually making a relationship.
They're probably attracted to you,
but they don't genuinely care about you.
If they truly cared about you
they would make sure you knew it.
They'd have the guts to treat you well when they're sober in the daytime.
Let's be honest,
they're probably a really insecure person. [That's where the alcohol comes into play]
Alcohol is a big COP OUT btw.
It blows cuz you like them,
and thought that maybe they'd finally realize that you rock
and should be together...
But if they actually realized that,
you'd know it at 3:00 PM on any Wednesday,
under the influence of nothing.
When they hook up with you at night
and don't act the same in the morning,
it time to move on.
Get outta there,
and don't look back.
This is something you really have to be strong on.
Do NOT let it turn into a habit.
It was a mistake,
and it can always be that ONE mistake,
but if it happens again you can only blame yourself.
Don't let them fool you.
Don't be their booty call,
it'll only make you feel bad about yourself.
You deserve someone who will treat you well.
Don't worry,
most people have been here,
you're not alone.
Just recognize that you are better than this.
You don't want someone that insecure and immature anyway.
Lots of love to you Line,
just keepin' it in perspective.
As always, happy to help.
Bee

Math Equations and Exes.

So...
The last post ended badly...
I ruptured my eardrum on the plane...
It hurt.
Real bad.
But anyway I'm okay now
and on medication and stuff.
Back to the relationship advice stuff.
Let's go over Ex advice,
since almost everyone has one.

First off:
If you and your significant other just split up, I'm sorry because it hurts.

Now:
I know it may be hard, but you have to cut off connection with them.
Yes, you can "still be friends", but not right now.
When you've just separated from someone,
maintaining contact will only make the situation worse for you both.
Don't drag it out.
Later on you can be friends,
right now you're exes.
Getting over someone you loved takes time.
There's an equation that will give you a rough estimate of how much time it will take you to get over them.
Basically it's like this:
X/2= :)

AKA The time you were dating them, divided by two, will give you the amount of time it will take you to be over them, at the greatest.

So say I date someone for 5 months, then we break up. It will take me 2.5 months AT MOST to be over them. Usually you're over them before that time.

BUT, the only way to get over them, is to not be around them or talk to them.
Your heart needs time to heal
and your brain needs to remember how to be without them again.
Erase them from your phone.
That way you're not tempted to call or text them.
Unless they did something terrible, erasing them from your Facebook is unnecessary because it can cause drama.
However if they cheated on you or did something bad,
erase away!
However,
You don't want to constantly look at their page,
so if you don't want to erase them,
then hide them from your news feed.
That way when they put up a picture with a new person,
you don't go stalk their page. [Note: Avoid looking at their page. Facebook is the NUMBER 1 cause of break-ups in America. It makes people jump to conclusions]
If they contact you and it was a mutual or a clean break-up,
You can politely say you both need space and time away from each other.
Tell them you will contact them when you're ready to be friends again.
If they contact you begging for you back after they cheated on you,
ignore them.
Block them.
Once a cheater,
always a cheater.
You gotta protect yourself line.
Keepin' it in perspective.
Happy to help:]
Bee

Relationships: For All The Right Reasons.

Okay.
So you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I'll help you do this,
but first I need to ask you a legit question...
Why?
Why do you want a significant other?
Is it so they can complete you?
So you can have someone to lean on?
So you can stop playing Frisbee all by yourself? [If this is your reason, get a dog.]
Seriously though,
you have to ask yourself why you think you need someone else?
You've gotta learn to be happy by yourself,
because if your happiness relies on someone else,
what happens when that someone is gone?
Nothing lasts forever.
You've gotta go into every relationship knowing that.
If you're considering becoming someone else's "significant other",
I hope it's for the right reasons.
Reasons like:
They care for you over everyone.
They have your best interest at heart.
They like that when you're driving together you sing like a tone deaf loser. [Okay, they may not exactly "like" this, but they can tolerate it and laugh with you about it]
They make you laugh.
They get you.
You WANT to, but don't NEED to.
Those are reasons for being in a relationship,
not just to have someone to hang out with when you're lonely.
Do this for me:
Go do something all by yourself,
once a week.
Pretty soon you'll be able to appreciate yourself.
Because if you never learn to love you,
how are others going to?
Just keeping it in perspective.
Happy to help.

Bee.

Love is a Dangerous Thing.

Just finished my biology final.
Now I literally never have to take a science again in my entire college life.
Assuming I didn't fail the class.
Pretty stoked about that:]
I didn't want to take this class,
but I figured it's better to just
get it done and
do what you gotta do.
No matter if it's fun or not,
because trust me,
a 10 week course compacted into 4 weeks is really not fun.
But that's just the way things are.
Sometimes you have to just close your eyes
and hold your breath,
and trust that you're gonna get through something.
Like breakups.
They really
really
really
hurt.
Seriously,
it's like your world just crashed down
when you break up with someone who you loved,
or thought you loved
or thought you'd be with forever,
or all three.
People dying from foreign diseases seem to have it easier than you
because you're dying of a broken heart.
Unless you're 80 years old and had been with your love all your life,
this probably isn't the case.
It's ok to feel like it is,
at least for a while.
You have to let yourself be upset,
for a while.
Everything must run it's course.
Just know that it will get better,
it always does,
even if it feels like your heart is smashed.
And if you feel that way,
I am sorry for you
because that really is the worst feeling.
Love is a dangerous thing,
because you can never be entirely stable with it.
There's always the risk of getting hurt.
But when you're not hurt,
isn't it the best thing in the world?
You will love again Line,
just let it heal.
And know that from every heart break,
you're closer to finding the one who won't hurt you.
Just keeping it in perspective.
Happy to help:]
Bee.

Try Harder

Ugh for realz?
Lesson for boy interested in girl:
Try.
Harder.
Or she'll peace out and
move to the next.
The line's long.
When it's your turn you better be ready.
That's all.
~Bee

Ode to The Haters.

You're okay girl,
don't let them hurt you so.
Ignore all of their hate,
those crushing blows.
They know that you're too strong,
and they wish they were.
Hearts green with envy,
makes that jealousy stir.
Keep your head up girl,
let those haters trip.
Ignore their ugly,
it'll make you sick.
You know you've got class,
and they all just stare.
Keep looking up fools,
you can kiss my Airs.





xoxo
~Bee

Dads

My best friend's Father passed away sixteen years ago today.
I couldn't imagine being without my Dad.
They're so important,
especially for girls.
They teach you to be strong
and independent
and to know exactly what you deserve.
Most girls will marry a guy like their Dad.
So a good Dad is one of the greatest things.
Love your Dad while you've got him around.

Sorry There's No Violins.

Those who choose to wallow in their misery
are never going to be happy.
Yeah, shit happens.
People get sick,
hurt,
dumped,
rejected,
ignored,
bad grades.
You lose people,
you miss events,
you're broke and you can't eat dairy. [hey this would be a bummer]
This happens to probably at least a few thousand people daily.
Not.
Just.
You.
The world is not out to get you.
You can be upset sometimes,
but not every week.
If you spend your entire life complaining about the things you don't have
and the things that are going wrong,
you're going to miss a lot of beauty in the world.
Not to mention,
you do not want to be the person complaining so much
that everyone thinks your pathetic.
Have a little pride.
Don't tell every person you see that your life is in a shit place right now.
Don't post on your Myspace, Twitter, Facebook that you're so depressed because blah blah blah.
And please,
if you take any advice from this,
do NOT make it clear to someone that you're pining over
that you're depressed because of them.
This will only serve as a repellent to them,
because personally I don't like the type who acts pathetic and dependent.
Before I'd date someone,
they have to prove that they're independent.
Your happiness should never rely on anyone else.
You're in charge of how you feel.
Sometimes life throws a lot of adversity your way,
but you're not the only one.
People everywhere are going through the exact same thing
and worse.
And eventually,
no one will want to be around the negativity.
Misery is an ugly black hole that absorbs everyone around it.
Don't be the person carrying it.
How can you do this you might ask?
Realize not everything is in your control,
but know that your attitude is 100 percent yours.
You can be happy if you want to.
It's your choice.
Feeling bummed?
Go run or something.
Do what you like to do.
Just don't let sadness get the best of you,
because once it's there it will only make everything worse.
You're an incredible person.
Show that ex you're much better off without them. [this is how you can get them back btw]
You're professor gave you a C when you deserved an A?
Well think of it this way,
how miserable of a person do you have to be to give someone a lower grade than they deserve?
Just feel bad for them and realize you don't want to be that person.
This is applied to everyone that's a shallow, immature jerk.
They're that way because they don't like themselves or their life.
See how no one likes them?
Don't be that guy/girl.
And if you're really really bummed and can't feel better,
maybe you should seek professional help.
Because sometimes it's something more than a bad day.
Usually however,
it's all how you look at life.
Just keep on truckin'
cuz if you're at your lowest
it's gotta get better.
Keep your chin up line,
tomorrow will be a better day.
There's beauty everywhere.
Open your eyes to it.
Just keeping it in perspective.

Happy to help,
Bee.

Liars Go to Hell

If there's one thing I can not stand,
it's liars.
And not just lying,
but when people lie and then continue to lie about their lie.
First off,
don't lie. [duh]
Second,
if you did lie and you get called on it,
just admit it.
Do not continue to lie about lying because it makes people like me
want to punch you in the face. [multiple times with extreme force]
Plus it makes you look delusional AND unintelligent. [ AKA not what you wanna be]
So just keep it real.
Be honest,
and if someone has any decency they will at least value your honesty.
Happy to help.
Bee.

Let's All Just Be Friends

Today was a pretty excellent day.
I went to the good old Oregon Country Fair.
The best thing about that place is by far the people.
Everyone is so chill there.
No one's judging you by what you're wearing
and everyone's just lettin' their freak flag fly high.
I wish the whole world could be as accepting as my fellow fairgoers.
It'd make everything so much easier and less stressful
if people weren't so concerned about appearances.
We could all just be one big happy planet.
So goal of this entry,
be more accepting of others.
Don't judge a book by it's cover
and if you get the opportunity to talk to someone who would usually be outside of your social group,
do it.
Grow from it and learn.
This will make the world a little better place
and you may score a new friend.
Keep it real Line.
Happy to help,

Bee

Use Your Words.

Today has been ok...
I went to class, read some of that stupid book "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" [it's my most current enemy. Required reading for my J 100 class. AKA garbage. [The book. Not the class]] and then went to work.
I'd say the best part was work. [I work at a daycare]
Mostly because little kids are super cool.
You know what one of the best things about kids is?
They're so upfront with each other. [little little kids.]
For example:
Emily wanted to ride in the cardboard car, but Nathan was in it.
Emily tried to push Nathan off of the car. [unsuccessful]
So then she did the thing everyone just needs to learn to do.
She used her words.
"Nathan, I would like to drive the car."
"Okayyy, I wanna push it!"
Bam.
It's just that simple.
Think of all the anger and grudges we could save if we all just said what we wanted to say.
I mean, sometimes it's definitely best to keep your mouth shut [AKA "Oh my god I hate myself. Look at my butt. I'm like a size massive. I'm such a whale I hate myself how can you be seen with me. Don't you think I've gained weight?" The obvious, smart and safe response to this is to appear pre-occupied with something else and just shake your head.]
But when having a legitimate conversation or argument with someone,
be sure to actually verbalize what's wrong. [Yes. I want you to talk about your feelings.]
Because if you don't,
they're not gonna know and it will just bother you waaayyyy more than it needs to.
Don't be passive aggressive.
Use your words.
Got your back.
As always,
Happy to help.

Bee

Day 2, Slashing Tires and Relationship Advice.

Wellll.
Nothing cool happened today.
So, I'm gonna default with some more tips in Bee's Guide to Not Sucking at Life.
Let's pick a topic.
It has to be a good one.
Interesting and relevent...
Let's talk about relationships.
Not the one you have with your dog or Mom.
The one with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wanna be significant other.
I have a few friends who are going through a tough time because they're into someone who doesn't return the feelings.
This totally blows obviously, but sometimes you gotta realize that
they're just not into you.
And when they're not into you,
don't bother.
You can't force someone to like you and definitely not to love you.
And honestly, you shouldn't want to.
You want someone who thinks you are the best person they've ever met.
The someone who will bring you orange juice when you're sick
and not make fun of you for liking that stupid tv show. [alright, they'll tease a little, but just cuz they like having fun with you]
And if you happen to find this someone and it turns out they decide they're looking for a different someone you can do 1 of 2 things.
Be all upset and angry about it, slash their tires, spread rumors about their stamina and std records and hate them.
OR
Recognize that it just wasn't meant to be and keep looking.
This is hard to do. [mostly because #1 sounds so appealing]
Another thing to think about is that sometimes it's no one's fault.
Sometimes it's just not working.
Sometimes it's you.
Then again sometimes it's all they're fault and they really are a jerk.
And you know, it's ok to feel this way.
Especially if it makes it easier for you to get over them. [usually it does]
BUT make sure not to be a jerk to someone who doesn't deserve it.
One more thing.
If you keep running into the same problem with every person you date,
you should probably take a look at yourself,
because maybe it's you.
Just keepin it in perpective Line.
Got your back.

Happy to help,

Bee

Intro

Blog number one.
I always made fun of bloggers. [sorry guys]
I'll probably continue to make fun. [again, sorry]
But, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?
Right.
This blog is another step in my pursuit of success.
I recently changed majors from pre-med to journalism. [sorry to those who are disappointed]
I've got a list of what I want to do.
I like options.
I always have.
Luckily the list is getting shorter as I cross things off.
I'm currently going through the list, in the form of classes.
I go to the University of Oregon.
Big school.
Lots of classes.
Lots of options. [you see the appeal right?]
Anyway, here's my point.
This is my blog.
It will help you get through your life, because I'm living mine so you can learn from my mistakes.
We can call it:
"Bee's Guide to Not Sucking at Life".
So let's learn together.
We can have each others' backs.
Happy to help.

Bee