Confidence: Your Pre-Party Pep talk

Stop it.
Stop it right now.
You know what you're doing.
You're looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Yeah you.
I caught you.
It's easy to see ya know.
It's more of a vibe really.
You're the one at the party
who's scoping the room,
looking for the hottie to claim
for longer than the night.
Well here's the thing.
Most hotties in college are not looking to be claimed.
If you're hot,
you have options.
It is what it is.
And if someone has options,
then you need to prove why you are their best one.
One of the best ways to do this,
is to have options yourself.
Once again,
it's the vibe thing.
When you're not looking for someone
you have a certain style about you.
Not fashion style. (But it helps)
You appear not to need anyone
and the best thing
is that you appear to be happy as is.
You appear confident.
Confidence is the single most attractive thing about anyone.
Hands down.
Just be confident.
Yeah I know,
easier said than done.
But here's the thing,
confidence is not that hard to find.
If you honestly can't list 5 great things about yourself,
then have someone else do it for you.
Hell I'll do it for you.
I could spend 5 minutes with a person
and even if I didn't like them
I bet I could list five things that were cool or attractive about them.
Smart?
Funny?
Pretty eyes?
Really good at WOW?
Fantastic organizer?
Great with kids?
Compassionate person?
Come on,
find yourself somewhere here.
The biggest thing about confidence,
is that sometimes you have to fake it. (sometimes faking it is the best solution for a situation. You know this.)
Fake it 'til you make it.
Sound familiar?
Same idea.
If you pretend you are the shit,
then other people are going to believe it.
After all,
you know you best.
You're your own best judge of character.
Before you go out to that party,
look at yourself in the mirror
and list 5 cool/attractvei/different things about yourself.
No on else at the party will have those things going for them.
You're better than them.
THEY are lucky to be talking to YOU.
You're not looking for anyone.
You've got options.
You're the shit.
You know it.
Everyone else knows it.
Go get em tiger.
Bee.

Can I Have Yo Numba?

Alright Line,
You asked and you shall receive :)
Today's topic is going to be:
How to get someone's number,
without being creepy, vulgar or drunk (often a combination of the first two).


Tip number 1:Be confident. 


I know, this sounds simple, but really. It works.
I know,
it's much easier said than done.
Yeah, it's near impossible to walk up to a girl/guy
without having at least a little bit of fear (if not a LOT) of being rejected.
But,
luckily the object of your affection doesn't have X-Ray vision.
They can't see that your heart is beating at a million miles per hour.
So,
with this in mind...
Just fake it.
Don't let them know that you want to run away because you're completely intimidated by them.
Just be confident,
and know that you're worth just as much as they are.


Tip number 2: Confident doesn't mean arrogant. 

You can approach someone with a smile and strike up a conversation
without starting off with:
"Well today is your lucky day, because today is the day I'm going to talk to YOU."
Gross.
Don't be that person.


Tip number 3: Be interesting.

It's much easier to start and maintain a conversation with someone
if you actually have something intelligent to say.
No.
Don't recite the theory of relativity. (Okay, some might consider it interesting.)
But unless you're trying to impress a physics major (and even then, I wouldn't start with this)
It's not a relevant topic.
And you will seem weird.
Very weird.


Tip number 4: Be conveniently in the same area as them.

But not in a creepy way.
Hopefully, you have a class with this person or are around them somehow.
If you're stalking someone,
stop reading now and go to therapy.
Seriously.
Watching someone through their window is only acceptable in movies.
Sometimes.


Tip number 5: Find common ground.

If you can share something with this person,
it will make you two closer,
regardless of what it is you share.
You both love Blink 182?
Perfect.
How do you know you both love Blink 182?

Scenario 1-
They walk in to class with headphones on blasting "Girl At The Rock Show."
You notice.
Glance at them and smile.
Odds are they'll smile back.
When they take their headphones out,
say something along the lines of:
 "Great song."
They'll respond.
Bam. Conversation started.

 Scenario 2-
You're behind the cutie in line at Starbucks and they order a double tall vanilla latte with soy.
What a coincidence,
that's been your favorite drink since,
oh, I don't know,
5 seconds ago?
I'm not saying lie.
I'm only suggesting that perhaps you try this new drink and find yourself a fan of it.
Back to the situation.
You order the same thing.
When you're both standing by the counter waiting for your order,
make a comment such as:
"perfect choice of drink," and smile.
In case you didn't catch on,
complimenting works,
as long as it's genuine. (a little contradictory to changing your drink choice based upon someone else, I know. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.)


Finally,
once you've started your conversation with this person,
and established mutual ground,
go in for the goal.
Get.
Their.
Numbaa.

The best way to ask for it,
is to be casual.
It's not a big deal.
"hey, we should hang out sometime"
"hey, do you want to study for the next test together?"
"Hey we should totally go get coffee sometime."
They will respond.
If they say no,
they are a jerk or unavailable.
In this case,
just let it go.
You'll find someone better.
But,
if they say yes,
your response will be a little something like this:
"Awesome, what's your number?"
Just.
Like.
That.

Good luck Line.
Everyone runs the risk of being rejected.
But if you never try,
you'll never succeed.
Got your back :]
Bee

Love, Standards and a Lesson on Consideration

I'm independent.
It's my thing.
Just ask any friend of mine,
or even someone who's known me for a day.
I like to do my own thing
and I don't need a boy around to be happy.
In fact,
I'm happier without one
because usually,
there's lots around.
No no no wait.
I'm not being arrogant.
Any single person knows this,
flirting is fun.
BUT
I think something which separates me from many,
is that I don't go farther than flirting.
I don't need to.
Having this ability to just flirt is like the best secret weapon of all.
Well,
I suppose it's not a secret anymore.
But hey,
if you're single,
you know this...
Or you should know this little thing I'm about to tell you..
Always leave them wanting more.
If someone can get everything from you that they could get from a bf/gf
and you're not their bf/gf
then you're probably not gonna be.
Why would you?
Why would they make you into their one and only if they already get everything they need from you?
Physically and emotionally.
Don't be so eager.
Hang back a little bit.
If they call you and you always pick up immediately,
maybe next time
don't.
If you text them every minute every day
and they only sometimes text you back,
maybe next time
you shouldn't.
Don't be there for someone who won't be there for you.
You know one of the most important traits in a relationship?
Consideration.
Not being taken for granted.
So you're always waiting on their call to tell you they're available to hang out?
Please.
You're already busy.
You don't need to wait around for someone else.
Now,
this advice is all sound and such,
but make sure they know how you're feeling.
Make sure they're aware that you feel like you give more than you get.
Successful relationships should be 50/50
not 75/25.
Don't put up for someone who doesn't respect you and value your time.
You're an awesome person,
if the one you're with doesn't realize it,
then it's their loss.
Sorry,
you just moved on.
Keep your head and your standards up line.
Got your back.
Happy to help,
Bee.

Confusion Answered.

Okay.
I know I've been completely infrequent with my posts,
and I apologize for that.
BUT
The reason for this is because
I've been out there learning and making mistakes,
in order to give you the feedback you like :]
I'm about to pour my heart out on this one,
so stay with me.
I'm no longer confused about how to act or react.
I have a solid answer.
Which is exactly what I wanted...
Now, was the substance of the answer I got
exactly what I wanted?
Well,
at first I didn't think it was.
At first,
I was kinda upset about it.
Upset that he didn't like me enough to become something more.
BUT
after thinking about it,
that what I always want.
I have never been the girl who wanted a boyfriend,
I've never wanted to be stuck with one person,
so why did I confuse myself this time?
Well,
to be honest
it's probably because I genuinely liked him.
But that's beyond the point.
I think the reason I was prepared to commit so quickly
was because all of my friends told me I was supposed to.
No really,
anyone that knows me,
knows I'm not the relationship girl.
I'm a flirt.
I like to have fun.
Commitment scares me.
I lost track of who I was for a few weeks.
There's the key words there:
"few weeks."
I had only known this guy for like 20 days.
That is an outrageous amount of time for me to:
meet boy.
fall for boy.
date boy.
want to COMMIT to boy.
20 days!
Wow. wow. wow.
That is just not like me at all.
And now I remember that.
Yeah,
it still hurts a little to know I won't see him again,
but most likely it's for the best.
Maybe in a few years
we'll both be the single ones in our groups of friends
and we'll meet again.
Maybe we'll be more grown up
and ready for relationships.
Maybe I'll never see him again...
But one thing is for sure,
I learned from it
and it was fun while it lasted,
because we were a pretty good match.
Keep your smile and your guard up line,
both will get you where you want to be.
Happy to help.
Bee <3

He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not.

Well.

Well, well, well.

I've got quite a bit to say,

but for once I'm not quite sure where to start.

So i'll get straight to the point.

BOYS: If you like a girl,

and want her to be your girlfriend eventually,

you better let her know you like her.

And you better show it.

GIRLS: If you like a boy and want to be his girlfriend,

YOU better act like it, but be a little more reserved until you're positive he feels the same way.

Don't doodle your names in hearts on your notebook.

He'll pull the crazy card on you then.

Do these statements seem unfair and sexist?

Yep.

But am I right?

Yep.

Dudes don't want a crazy who they don't have to fight a little for.

Girls don't like passive jerks, OR overly clingy guys.

That's just life,

minus the exceptions.

So today,

BOYS if you like her,

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS BEFORE SHE MOVES ON.

Yes, I am talking to you.

and GIRLS if you like him,

don't stress.

If the feeling is mutual he will make it happen.

That's all.

Get to gettin'.

Love you all.

Bee.

Relationships: For All The Right Reasons.

Okay.
So you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I'll help you do this,
but first I need to ask you a legit question...
Why?
Why do you want a significant other?
Is it so they can complete you?
So you can have someone to lean on?
So you can stop playing Frisbee all by yourself? [If this is your reason, get a dog.]
Seriously though,
you have to ask yourself why you think you need someone else?
You've gotta learn to be happy by yourself,
because if your happiness relies on someone else,
what happens when that someone is gone?
Nothing lasts forever.
You've gotta go into every relationship knowing that.
If you're considering becoming someone else's "significant other",
I hope it's for the right reasons.
Reasons like:
They care for you over everyone.
They have your best interest at heart.
They like that when you're driving together you sing like a tone deaf loser. [Okay, they may not exactly "like" this, but they can tolerate it and laugh with you about it]
They make you laugh.
They get you.
You WANT to, but don't NEED to.
Those are reasons for being in a relationship,
not just to have someone to hang out with when you're lonely.
Do this for me:
Go do something all by yourself,
once a week.
Pretty soon you'll be able to appreciate yourself.
Because if you never learn to love you,
how are others going to?
Just keeping it in perspective.
Happy to help.

Bee.

Day 2, Slashing Tires and Relationship Advice.

Wellll.
Nothing cool happened today.
So, I'm gonna default with some more tips in Bee's Guide to Not Sucking at Life.
Let's pick a topic.
It has to be a good one.
Interesting and relevent...
Let's talk about relationships.
Not the one you have with your dog or Mom.
The one with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wanna be significant other.
I have a few friends who are going through a tough time because they're into someone who doesn't return the feelings.
This totally blows obviously, but sometimes you gotta realize that
they're just not into you.
And when they're not into you,
don't bother.
You can't force someone to like you and definitely not to love you.
And honestly, you shouldn't want to.
You want someone who thinks you are the best person they've ever met.
The someone who will bring you orange juice when you're sick
and not make fun of you for liking that stupid tv show. [alright, they'll tease a little, but just cuz they like having fun with you]
And if you happen to find this someone and it turns out they decide they're looking for a different someone you can do 1 of 2 things.
Be all upset and angry about it, slash their tires, spread rumors about their stamina and std records and hate them.
OR
Recognize that it just wasn't meant to be and keep looking.
This is hard to do. [mostly because #1 sounds so appealing]
Another thing to think about is that sometimes it's no one's fault.
Sometimes it's just not working.
Sometimes it's you.
Then again sometimes it's all they're fault and they really are a jerk.
And you know, it's ok to feel this way.
Especially if it makes it easier for you to get over them. [usually it does]
BUT make sure not to be a jerk to someone who doesn't deserve it.
One more thing.
If you keep running into the same problem with every person you date,
you should probably take a look at yourself,
because maybe it's you.
Just keepin it in perpective Line.
Got your back.

Happy to help,

Bee